Making positive change in our lives almost always requires us to do something differently. That often means letting go of familiar routines that no longer serve us, so we can create space for new habits that are more aligned with who we are becoming and what we want our lives to look like.

Within the Connect & Thrive Community, we explore this process through a series of short, practical lessons designed to support sustainable change. In this article, I’m sharing some of the core insights - principles that consistently help people create habits that actually stick.

Understand Your Why

Change is far easier - and far more sustainable - when it’s driven by meaningful motivation. One of the main reasons more than 90% of New Year’s resolutions fail is that they’re often chosen impulsively, simply because the calendar has turned and others are making resolutions too.

If you want a new habit to last, take time to clarify why it matters to you. What is important about making this change? What goal, value, or future outcome will it support? When your habit is clearly connected to something that truly matters, it becomes much easier to follow through when motivation dips.

If you’re feeling unclear about your why, you’re not alone. Many people find it helpful to spend time intentionally exploring what matters most at this stage of life. The online course What’s Important to Me Now?, available inside the Connect & Thrive Community, was created for this purpose and has helped hundreds of people around the world gain greater clarity about their personal priorities.

Start with Small, Incremental Steps

It’s natural to feel inspired by the potential impact of a big change. You can clearly see how it might improve your life, and that excitement can create an urge to do everything at once. Unfortunately, this often leads to overwhelm - and overwhelm is one of the fastest ways to abandon a new habit.

The most successful habits begin small. Take one manageable step, practise it consistently, and then build on it over time. Small, repeatable actions are far more powerful than ambitious plans that are hard to sustain. Trying to change everything at once can quickly become a recipe for frustration rather than progress.

Track and Celebrate Your Progress

Monitoring your progress helps maintain motivation and reinforces your commitment. Something as simple as putting a checkmark on your calendar each day you complete your habit can be surprisingly effective.

Consider setting small milestones—after one week, one month, and three months - and celebrating them in a way that feels meaningful or fun. This might be a gold star, a sticker, or a small reward that reminds you: I’m doing this.

You are quite literally creating new neural pathways in your brain. Research suggests that after around 66 days of consistent practice, a habit can begin to feel automatic. At that point, you may no longer need reminders - your brain has become comfortable with the new routine. Reflecting on your progress and journaling about the changes you notice can further strengthen this momentum.

Invite Others to Support You

It can feel safer to keep your intentions private, but sharing your commitment with others significantly increases the likelihood that you’ll follow through. Accountability doesn’t have to feel heavy or punitive - it can be encouraging, motivating, and even enjoyable.

An accountability buddy - someone who supports your goal and agrees to check in with you regularly—can make a big difference. You might even choose someone who wants to build the same habit, such as exercising regularly. On days when motivation is low, knowing someone else is counting on you can be enough to help you show up.

In the Connect & Thrive Community, this kind of mutual support is built into the culture. Members encourage one another, celebrate progress, and provide accountability for the changes they’ve declared they want to make.

Anticipate Obstacles (and Plan for Them)

Life happens. Even with the best intentions, there will be days- or weeks - when you don’t follow through on your new habit. When this happens, self-compassion is essential. Beating yourself up only makes it harder to restart.

That said, you’re far more likely to stay on track if you anticipate obstacles in advance. Ask yourself: What might get in the way of this habit? Then decide how you’ll respond when it does.

If the disruption is a one-off, you might simply skip the habit for a day or two and resume as soon as possible. If timing is consistently an issue, consider whether you’re trying to practise your habit during a period that’s prone to interruptions. You may need to ask for support from others or choose a different time that’s easier to protect.

If you find yourself repeatedly unable to follow through, it’s worth pausing to re-evaluate. Is this habit truly aligned with your why? If the motivation isn’t there, it may be a sign that this particular habit isn’t the right one for you right now. Letting it go and choosing something more aligned can be an act of wisdom, not failure.

Conclusion

When your habits are aligned with your values and future goals, supported by others, built gradually, and reinforced through tracking and celebration, they become a powerful force for transformation.

It’s also worth taking time to review your existing habits. Ask yourself whether they genuinely support the life you want to create. You may discover some routines that need adjusting—or releasing altogether - to make room for what truly matters.

Small, intentional changes, practised consistently, can reshape not just what you do each day, but how you experience your life as a whole.